


Choises

by Lucca_Jeller



Category: Blindspot (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-06 06:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14050701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucca_Jeller/pseuds/Lucca_Jeller
Summary: Everything that episode 3x13 did not show ... Jane Doe bothered by Nas's visit and full of reason for it.





	1. Chapter 1

Jane returned home around 9 pm after her meeting with Avery. All the way back, which she did on foot to have some more time alone absorbing every detail of those moments with her daughter, the hope of building a friendship with the girl was growing.  
In front of the building where she lives, Jane stopped. His optimism disappeared, giving way to a nuisance for the unfinished business with Kurt, which now seemed even further from any kind of resolution. Even though she did not know how to reconstruct everything that broke, she did not want to leave him anymore, she would not give up on him.  
As soon as she entered the apartment, her greetings were casual. The kisses, which had been common in those moments, now seemed to belong to a distant past. Kurt was using his notebook on the living room table. It was he who started the conversation:  
"Hey, how'd it go with Avery?"  
“Well” _ and Jane struggled to smile._ “I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It was a nice conversation.”  
She could not say why, but she did not feel like following the dialogue. Even so, he tried to find a subject:  
“Still working?”  
"Well, yes and no. I'm trying to organize all the information we got today, especially in moments with Nas.” _ and he opened a broad smile _ “It's unbelievable how she appeared out of nowhere, moved with us all and, in the end, still got her passport back to ASN . She's very smart. I will always be grateful for what she has done to us.”  
Jane shook her head in a gesture that might show agreement. The expression on her face would be classified by Rich as "intimidating." Without a word, she turned and went into the bedroom.  
Kurt turned back to the computer, but Jane's reaction did not come out of his head. So he decided to go after her. Since she was already in the bath, all he could do was wait. Then she prepared to go to bed and waited.  
She came out dressed in the bathroom and sat on her side of the bed with her back to him looking uncertain about lying down.  
"Jane, was everything okay with Avery? It seems like something is bothering you ...”  
She looked back resolutely and even opened her mouth as if she had something very important to say. But he restrained himself. He breathed.  
“Everything went well.” _ and she lay very close to the bed, keeping a disagreement between them and her back to him.  
A moment later, she felt his hand resting on her shoulder.  
“No, you're not well. Want to talk about what's bothering you?”  
A few seconds of silence followed. Jane felt a great urge to talk about everything that bothered her that day, but the echoes of the conversation with Rich at the party still echoed in her mind as a warning not to do so.  
"It's okay, Kurt. I'm just tired...”  
He withdrew his hand from her shoulder.  
“Okay. Even so, I need to talk to you. Nas sent me information about Avery's father.”  
Jane turned to him already sitting on the bed:  
“What she said?”  
“Avery's father was involved in key Sandstorm operations. You can’t claim innocence.”  
Jane snorted noticeably irritated:  
“I talked to Nas about Avery before her departure from SIOC and she did not tell me anything!”  
"She must have thought it best to use me as an intermediary for this information.”  
"Yes, Nas is a specialist in that. I want to investigate all this information before we say anything to Avery. I will not risk hurting her without being sure of everything before.”  
“Jane, the information is from Nas. They are reliable.”  
"Avery is my daughter, Kurt. I will not let third-party information break the fragile trust that I am struggling to build between us. I will not let you repeat what happened to Roman.”  
Kurt tried to hold Jane's hand to comfort her and to demonstrate that she was there to support her and confront everything that was necessary. She responded by squeezing firmly back. Then he said:  
“All right, Jane. We can do it your way. I know how hard it is. Thank God we have Nas to help us.”  
Jane's reaction was immediate: she let go of Kurt's hand and rose from the bed. She could not shut up any longer:  
“It's amazing how you never question when it comes to Nas.”  
"And why should I? She is our friend. She sacrificed himself for us.”  
"Kurt, she's not our friend. Is she your friend. I was nothing but an ex-terrorist whom she does not even trust to pass on to my own daughter!”  
Kurt breathed for the right words to get around that:  
"Jane, I know everything about Avery is too delicate for you. But do not let this put you against people who just want to help us. Nas has come to us today because he trusts you too.”  
Jane gave a small smile of disbelief:  
"She did not come to us, Kurt. She came to you. When she knocked on our door this morning, all she least expected was to meet me here.”  
Kurt stood up and, approaching Jane, took his hand up to arm himself in a soft, but firm touch to demonstrate his position:  
“You are my wife. This is your home. Of course you would be here.”  
“Two nights ago neither of us would have been sure, Kurt.”_ and breathed in regret of his words _ “Look, I am tired. It was better to try to sleep.” She slipped out of his arms and went back to bed.  
He also went back to bed, reflecting how he could help Jane in these matters with Avery. Unfortunately, Kurt did not realize what the real problem was there.


	2. Chapter Two

The next morning, the couple's conversations were trivial. As soon as they arrived at SIOC, Jane sought out Rich, for she felt she ought to explain to the hacker:  
“OI, Rich. Good Morning!” _ said entering his ‘office’  
“My lady! Good Morning. To what do I owe the honor of your visit to my humble Rich Point? Do not tell me you finally realized your hidden attractions by me ...”  
Jane smiled spontaneously. Rich was priceless and incorrigible.  
"If we can take this conversation less sexually, I'll continue. Otherwise, I'm leaving ...”  
"Please, stay!" He put his hands together and made an expression of innocence. "I behave.”  
“Rich, I want to apologize for the way I treated you yesterday.”  
“Wow! No, no, no. Jane this is really unnecessary.  
“No, it's not. You work with us and you're right, I have to stop being intimidating with people.”  
“Jane you are my queen. There is no other woman in the world who can arouse so much ... so much admiration in me. I got carried away at the party, we both know that. Besides, I know that his reactions were forged at the heart of a delicate situation in which Weller chose to make a questionable partnership. Wow! I said it beautiful now. The words are from a movie I saw a long time ago during my vacation in France ...” - and Rich was already preparing for new ramblings of his adventures when Jane interrupted him.  
"Well, I did not get it right where you want to go. But, anyway, I'm sorry for the way I acted.”  
“My Goddess, as your number one fan of course I know you understood exactly. Incomprehensible was Stubles' choice to partner with the Iron Lady at a party of her. Either of us would be more acceptable. That woman gives me shivers and not like the ones you cause me. Mark up territory, my darling, and do not be intimidated. "And giving Jane a wink, she concluded: She has no chance against you. Team Jane Forever!”  
Jane smirks to mask the uneasiness that Rich had provoked within her:  
“Thanks for all ...” compliments and advice, Rich. “And, once again, sorry.” She said as he walked out the door.  
From there, she went straight to Patterson's lab that was already working on the information passed by Nas. Kurt and the rest of the team were there too.  
"Anything new, Patterson?"  
“Still nothing relevant, Jane. But I will be thorough in investigations.”  
"I do not even know how to thank you for that, Patterson ..."  
"And you do not have to.” _ and the blonde stands facing Jane, giving her arm a slight squeeze_ “I would not forgive you if you did not ask me to. The more care we have, the better.”  
“I don’t want to make them waste time with my personal questions.”  
Reade decides to put in the dialogue:  
"Hank Crawford is not just a personal matter, Jane. All this is necessary to get to him.”  
And Tasha also decides to speak:  
“Jane, since you joined the team, your instincts were decisive for solving many cases. If you are giving us a warning signal now, do not check would take unnecessary risk.”  
“Thank you people. Thank you.”- and withdraws from the laboratory.  
The eyes of the three friends turn to Weller who continues to just watch the events, expecting some attitude from him in front of all that. Weller then decides to speak:  
"I'm sorry for all this work, guys. I do not know what else to make Jane feel safe about everything that Avery is involved with.”  
"Please don’t apologize, too. I fully agree that we verify each of these information.” - Tasha was in favor of the investigation.  
"Weller, it's about Jane and Avery we're talking about. And the information came from Nas, so that's the most accurate decision.” - Reade speaks and the two girls next to him agree.  
"It's exactly because the information came from Nas that I think is all an exaggeration of Jane. Nas would not allow any unnecessary risk to us.”  
Patterson could not help himself:  
“Nas did a lot for us, Kurt, but Jane did a lot more. And it was also Nas who used us to retrieve the virus that would reopen SNA's doors for her.”  
Weller received with surprise the fact that the friends shared the perception of Jane on that question and this cast doubts on its security. Was there something there that only he could not see? Her instinct was loud as she begged him to look for Jane. He nodded reluctantly with his head and left the lab. He had no doubt about where he would find her: the locker room.


	3. Chapter Three

As she passed the door, she saw Jane leaning against the door, trying to control her emotions. He sat down beside her and dared to let the back of his fingers brush against her hand that was firmly resting on the edge of the bench.  
“Hey. I know this is difficult. If you need the rest of the day off or want to talk about Avery ...”  
She inspired looking for a decision: to speak or to shut up? Could this dialogue be able to contain the aspects that it did not wish to address? She did not shut up in front of Kurt even in the worst of times, it would not be Nas that would lead her now:  
"Kurt ... you have no idea of the commitment I'm putting into rebuilding our relationship. I know I have to trust you, after all by now you have hit Avery more than I have. I swear I wanted to accept this information that Nas passed us without question ... for you, to be one more step to be well again. But I can’t._ and her expression assumes an atypical hardness even for Jane._ I DON’T TRUST IN THE NAS.  
Weller frowned, trying to process the surprise at Jane's confession as well as understanding its meaning, but nothing seemed to make sense.  
“Jane, I wanted to understand where this resistance from Nas comes from, but I really can’t understand it.”  
Jane smiled wryly.  
“Yeah, she's always so professional and ... focused on YOUR interests.” - She took a deep breath and continued - "What brought you to you was the desire to end Sandstorm. She needed the FBI and me for that. You always quote the sacrifice she made to save the team and, all I see, is how much Sandstorm ended up becoming an obcession to her.”  
"Jane, I think your emotional involvement in these matters with Avery is clouding your real perception of things. Ending Sandstorm was the goal of all of us. I know how difficult the last few weeks have been. Take some time for yourself and soon you will see that things did not go well ...”  
“No! You do not see it's not about Avery, Kurt. You are the one who can’t see who is really Nas.” _ and she closes her eyes and shakes her head negatively before continuing: _ “Sacrifices are necessary ... I lost count of the number of times she told me this. Because with me she was always very clear: as long as I collaborated, I would not have to fear my return to the black site.”  
“I never thought her pressure on you was so great. You never told me this ...”  
"I never got room for that, Kurt. While Nas was here, she surrounded you avoiding any attempt of rapprochement. After she's gone, I wanted to leave everything I've gone through in the past and be happy with you.”_Then Jane is no longer able to control the emotion in her voice_ “But it hurts when I see that you still can not perceive her away from me so you would not be a hindrance to the suicide missions I had to face. I never had a choice. I had to do it to prove that I loved you, to correct my mistakes, to try to save Roman, but also to escape the threat of returning to CIA custody. She used us in the past to get her through her quest to end Sandstorm and did it again now.”  
Kurt could not deny that Jane's arguments, at least, reflected his reflection:  
“I had never stopped to observe the facts by this prism ... I always thought that Nas was moved by the same ideals that I.”  
“Never! We are talking about the woman who knows of the disappearance of secret SNA viruses, but denied you any form of help when it came to meeting me again ...”  
“She said that she had no conditions at the moment ...”  
“Maybe she saw no advantage in helping you. She already had the CIA and Shepherd, did not need anything else. But I understand why you're attracted to her. She is strong, determined. She was the bed where you drowned the sorrows for all the disappointments you had with me that resulted in Mayfair's death. And she stands up and says as she walks to the door. And it must have been nice to have moments alone with her yesterday at the party for some flirting to lift her ego. I'm going home.”


	4. Chapter Four

Kurt stayed there trying to process all that. She wanted to run after herself, not knowing if, after all she had heard, she should apologize for not seeing things the way she did or just wondering if this avalanche of anger at Nas was due only to this misunderstanding about the party . People always advised him to give Jane time and space ... He paced the locker room, thinking about everything she'd said. Damn, he could no longer see Nas in the same way. Would he ever overcome the Jane Doe effect on his life?  
Give Jane time? Make room for Jane? Give Jane reason? Jane. Jane. Jane. Everywhere he looked inside him, there was only Jane there. Do not miss Jane, because life without her had no meaning. And he found himself hurrying through the SIOC as he warned Reade by the message that they needed the rest of the day off. As the elevator descended to the garage of the building, her only thought was the desire that she be at home.

Driving through the streets of New York, the flashbacks of everything that lived until then populated his mind. Overcome from the doorway to the apartment, the door was the last barrier to him. The determination that took hold of your being and did not let your hand waver with the key or your mind falter in your resolutions. Once inside the apartment, his eyes did not have to search the whole place. He had previously known where to look, the possibilities were few. The balcony was empty, but the office was not. On a whim of chance, she rose from her chair and leaned against the doorframe as she had done the night she returned home.  
“I am fine. I will not run away.”  
"I did not think it was ... That's not why I came after you." _ He took a deep breath and started_ “I came to talk.”  
She walks to the living room and, next to him, says:  
“I already said everything I had to say.”  
“But I did not say!”  
Jane could not contain her surprise at Weller's defiant attitude. His kind of behavior toward her was rare. But he had no other reaction than to stand there, waiting for what he had to say:  
“Yes, I wanted moments alone with Nas when I divided the teams at the party.”  
Jane smirked. And he continued:  
"Yes, I flirted with her that night. And yes, it inflated my ego so much that I did not even feel betrayed when it took the virus. But no, I did not do it all in a rational or premeditated way. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would not do that because I know how much it hurt to see you with Clem during Avery's rescue mission in Germany ...”  
Kurt could almost feel all the muscles of Jane stiffening and something that became even sharper in the challenging posture of her chin as she addressed him:  
“These are incomparable situations. I did everything to keep you from being there ...”  
"Even if I had not gone with you, your choice for him as a partner for that mission had already caused the same pain you're proving now.”  
Jane breathed before answering. It was incomprehensible to her to use such a mistaken comparison:  
“How can you bring this to this discussion? Clem never did anything to harm you ...”  
“He was someone who could make you happy. Someone who could get you out of me. And there is nothing in the world that could harm me so much.”  
“No! Clem was never a threat to you, to what I feel for you ...”  
“And Nas was never a threat to what I feel for you.”  
When their eyes meet, Kurt's firm stance and determination not to budge was as great as Jane's. They stood there paralyzed for a few seconds until the confessions penetrated their hearts and the challenge gave way to a shy, embarrassed smile. It was Jane who reached out her hand, reaching for him and drawing their bodies closer until it was possible to rest her forehead on his:  
“Damn, Kurt ... I want both of us back. I want to have you as a shelter after my hard days. I want our good times that made everything else worthwhile.”  
“So lower your claws so I understand that I'm not breaking the time and space you need.”  
"I thought I'd done it when I got back home."  
Kurt smiled, realizing how much they still had to lapse from that rough diamond that was the love they shared.  
Realizing that words would no longer make him feel, he searches her lips with intense hunger. The kiss was short and loaded with firmness. Then he moved a few inches away, watching her reaction. Jane gives a brief smile showing that she agrees with her proposal and resumes the kiss with the same intensity. Kurt pushes her body against the wall and, with his face almost on hers says:  
“Whenever I have a choice, Jane, she is you. And if I can’t have you with me on the field, I'm going to need you twice more each time we go home.”  
“I'll charge you that. And every time I'll prove to you that your choice was the right one.”


End file.
